3 Like thoughts on transformation - Humility

Excerpt from C.S. Lewis' book "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader". The boy Eustace, with many ugly personal characteristics, by his greed was turned into a dragon and enslaved into this wretched creature. At first he relished in the power, but realized his new self was pushing everyone away (that wasn't much different from his old self). Well, he wanted to be transformed into a boy again, but he needed Aslan to do it, he could not do it in his own strength. After being tired and worn down from trying to do it on his own, he allows Aslan to do it, Aslan meekly present all the time begins to rip the old flesh off. Subsequently after the removal of the flesh Eustace is not just a boy anymore he has be transformed by his experience. Read on.

"The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. but the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I dont know if he said any words out loud or not.

I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and , instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.

But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

The the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was do deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.

Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.

After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me - (with his paws?) - Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. and then suddenly I was back here. Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream."
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Andrew Murray quotes George Fox in his book/devotional entitled "Humility".

George Foxe said, "I knew Jesus, and he was very precious to my soul, but I found something in me that would not keep sweet and patient and kind. I did what I could to keep it down, but it was there. I besought Jesus to do something for me, and when I gave Him my will, He came to my heart, and took out all that would not be sweet, all that would not be kind, all that would not be patient, and then he shut the door."

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Exodus 15:23-25

23When they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter; therefore it was named Marah.

24So the people grumbled at Moses, saying, "What shall we drink?"

25Then he cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a tree; and he threw it into the waters, and the waters became sweet There He made for them a statute and regulation, and there He tested them.

26And He said, "If you will give earnest heed to the voice of the LORD your God, and do what is right in His sight, and give ear to His commandments, and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians; for I, the LORD, am your healer."

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Also reference: John 12 and 13 - 12 Mary anoints Jesus' with her tears, and 13 Jesus washes the feet of the disciples.

Surrender to Win

Everyday upon awakening, I open my eyes and declare, your will today Lord not mine. I put might feet on my bedroom floor and declare your will Lord not mine. I say, "Lord I can't do it today I need your power, your strength and your ways to guide me."

There is a lot of freedom in humility to put your life into the hands of God. To acknowledge that without him my life is unmanageable. I cannot run the show. I cannot fight my way out of a wet paper bag in my own strength.

They are calling this age "The Age of Entitlement", each person doing what he thinks is best for themselves in his or her own estimate. Deferring any instruction in life. The thought is, I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, I know what is best for me, I can manage my life and develop my own way, I want to follow my own desires and that there is no God. In short they say, people don't know what is best for me and God doesn't know what is best for me, but I know what is best for me and I am going to do what I want, I deserve it.

To be vulnerable, in this year 2008, I had a great awakening. I found out that I have a problem with "anger", and by trying to control it by myself and manage it in my own strength was tearing our home apart. I would get angry, flip out and then the excuses would start: I only got a little angry, I will try and do better next time, If you wouldn't have done "blank" then I wouldn't have gotten angry and did "blank", you're being too sensitive, If she thinks this is angry I might as well get really angry, it's your fault. Then the next day I would be so embarrassed for the things I had said and done. I was acting like an adult three year old and I didn't want people to find out. I would be OK and my wife would be in shambles, and I would get angry again if she would bring it up. I knew it was a problem, and it reminded me a lot of the excuses I used to make when I was drinking. You see this is the way my life is when I try to manage it.

I surrendered, I don't know how to manage my own anger and I need help. I knew things were bad but crying out to God was not enough, because I would cry out to him and then go and do things that I had always been doing. I needed a "renewal of the mind" which came by the way of opening up to a trusted christian married couple/elders for counsel, and we shared with them. At this point I knew I had a problem, but wasn't seeing it entirely. They asked me if I thought what I was doing was wrong and I said yes, not fully knowing what I was saying yes to. I was downloading stuff on anger management from the internet (search: anger, desert fathers, orthodox). I went to seek some one-on-one counseling, still trying a little to justify my anger, but at one of these sessions I received a book on anger by Gary Chapman. This book has helped to change my life and I believe I can now see the exact nature of my wrongs. It has enlightened me.

This book taught me about surrendering to win. I now say, "I am angry (pause). Now what am I going to do about it?" And the first three steps of the AA program are like it admitting that I am powerless, that I have a problem, in my own strength I cannot manage my life on my own and that trying to do so is insane. Admitting I have a problem with "blank" and that I need help and turning my life over to God is the first answer and then seeking the solution as the second, which may involve others. I also learned from this book that it is not a sin to be angry. That anger is a natural response to indicate to me that something is wrong pushing me to take a positive solution. Be angry, yet sin not.

I find joy putting my life into the hands of God, and though it is hard, I find relief in putting my life into the hands of others. I find it better, that I don't have to know everything and that it is good to be instructed. It's to heavy to push the load by myself. That we are made to be codependent in the purest sense of the word.

I guess I just wanted to encourage you that there is freedom and joy, and that looking for help for being broken is courageous.

James 4:6 (New International Version)
6But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."

Good article:
The Beast of Anger by Fr. George Morelli
http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles5/MorelliAnger.php

Definition of Sobriety from the Desert Father Hesychius of Jerusalem

Sobriety is the steadfast setting up of the thought of the mind and posting it at the door of the heart, so that it sees alien thoughts as they come, those thieves and robbers, and hears what these destroyers say and do; and sees what is the image inscribed and figured in them by the demons, who are trying thus to seduce the mind by fantasy. For this work, when it is done with loving effort, reveals to us very fundamentally and clearly, by experience, the art of mental war and brings skill in it.

Why "True Sobriety"?

Truthfully I named my blog site and url only after finding out that the other names I wanted to use were already taken. Wanting to choose something that would encapsulate in a word or 2 my ideals, philosophy and burden without being too cliché. My first choices were: One Thing, One Thing I Ask, The Living Flame, Sober Living, Ceaseless Prayer and Transformation.

I chose the word "sobriety", which literally means the state of being sober. A term that, as with many, has lost it's true meaning over the days. Today it is mainly associated with abstinence from drugs and alcohol. Although I do believe the abuse of drugs and alcohol is contrary to sobriety and I will touch on this subject, I don't feel that merely abstaining from a substance is its full definition. This blog will be an attempt to rediscover what "True Sobriety" is.

The goal for this site is that it would be an encouragement for others as well as myself, into having a more accurate view of who we are in the eyes of God, which I believe is the cornerstone of sobriety, and what it means to be sober.

I now believe that this was the best pick of site names for my blog.